Black Widow

Have you ever gone to a generic burger joint and paid $10 for a cheeseburger, but then when you finished chewing you forgot you even ate the burger so you just sit there wondering why you spent the $10? That’s what I felt watching this film. Black Widow serves as one of the most skippable additions to the endless MCU series.

Because it’s a prequel for Natasha, who has nowhere to go in the future, there is no wiggle room for the story to be creative. The MCU basically jogs in circles for 2 hours and 13 minutes. The end product fails to meet any expectations built up for the past seven years, and it’s too little too late for a character that was meant to be something yet ended up being a sidekick for every other MCU hero.

I felt no emotion through the entire runtime. Good cinema builds energy and pulls reactions right out of your soul. Bad cinema—poorly crafted works to be more specific—can still act as products of entertainment, and their missteps can pull a different kind of enjoyment out of its absurdity; sometimes a film can be so bad that it can be enjoyable. But then there are those passable films, where the stories and characters are so similar to other films that it feels like you are watching on autopilot. That’s what Black Widow is. Disney and Marvel on autopilot. It mimics the action from Jason Bourne, copies the ending of a James Bond finale, and pretends to have a consistent tone with the espionage thrill of Captain America: The Winter Soldier.

And the worst part? This is only the second female-centered Marvel film in the franchise. Both this film and Captain Marvel were half-assed attempts of easy stories stretched thin to a 2-hour runtime to get female audiences into the theater. No matter how hard Disney pretends to be progressive, or sympathetic for their audiences, it dishes out the most generic product for maximum profit. The mouse follows the money, and when the dollars land on a female superhero, it is only because she can be a commercial for the military.

The patriotism at the beginning of this film fits for a 4th of July release, especially with Stranger Things actor, David Harbour, but it never adds to anything. If there was supposed to be a theme about patriotism and the plague of communism, it falls flat when the villains turn out to be sexist, not communist. The main villain isn’t working for Russia—because then the film wouldn’t be marketable for Russia—and as a bad guy in a female-lead film he just has to be mustache-twirly with his sexual harassment. It’s honestly really gross and not in the right way. So now the film is missing a common theme, leaving only quick-cut-action scenes jumping through broken glass (again and again and again). There is nothing to be gained as an audience member through all the fighting besides the overdone gimmick of 'women aren't disposable objects' that every Disney film tries to make profitable.

Taking a step back, and ignoring everything previously stated, the characters are the best part of this film—especially in their actors’ performances. David Harbour and Florence Pugh really shine in the small moments, and I am excited to see more of them in future films. They thankfully bring out the more humorous and emotional moments, and the jailbreak scene might be the best part of the film solely on the Red Guardian injecting fun into the action. The ‘broken family’ core of the film is best expressed through their characters’ interactions with Natasha. The silent scenes really center on the trauma their family placed on each other, which heightened the reality of their struggle to find their own identities.

Sadly, the third act disrupts a lot of this family bonding, cutting the emotional satisfaction short, and when the dust settles, Natasha ditches the family she spent the whole film finding in order to be with Captain America in Infinity War (she has to since this is a prequel). The third act derails the pulse of the story’s heart when it was already running dry, making the whole experience feel empty.

Overall, this film does not need to be seen in theaters, but it is definitely not worth the $30 ‘premium price’ on Disney+. Even the after credits scene is a waste of time. Wait to watch Black Widow for free on Disney+ when you marathon the MCU in chronological order for the next Avengers film. Other than that, it adds nothing to Natasha Romanoff, so why spend the money? The action is forgettable, and the villain is a complete misfire. The story is held together by its star-studded cast. Florence Pugh, David Harbour, and Scarlett Johansson give solid performances, but as the last time the audience will see the Black Widow, I feel bad that Scarlett Johansson never had the screen to herself until it was too late.

Story Rating: 4/10

Character Rating: 6/10

Entertainment Rating: 5/10